I'm getting worried about me. Ever since September when my thyroid medicine stopped working, I have not felt like myself. Well, I had a nice blip of good-feeling-ness at Christmas, but that was totally supported by a cortisone shot and a prednisone pack. I always feel like superwoman when I take prednisone. But I guess it's worn off, because I'm back to feeling like crap.
It is hard to teach when you just want to stay in bed with the covers pulled over your head.
We're supposed to be planning our future and I want to curl up in a nice warm cave and hibernate.
I had to bail out of my equine science class because I don't have the energy to stay up until 10:30 at night.
Several times I've had to call Horses Help and tell them I can't make it. That makes me feel even worse. I hate backing out on commitments. Plus, I love working at Horses Help.
I haven't been riding for months. I have my saddle sitting on this little room divider between what is supposed to be the living room and what is supposed to be the dining room -- so I look at it every time I sit at my laptop.
We signed the dogs up for training classes and I've missed two of them because I'm so dead. Paul takes one dog and the other dog looks at me and makes me feel guilty.
Our house is going on the auction block in less than three weeks -- have I done anything to prepare for the fact we may be homeless by the end of the month? No.
There was just a commercial on about depression. I know that's what I have, but I also know that it's related to my thyroid meds, so no anti-depressant or "talk therapy" will help. I'm beginning to not recognize myself.
I feel so sorry for my husband -- he's so good and patient, but the most he sees of me is when I leave for school in the morning or sometimes when I feel up enough to walk the dogs with him. He wants us to apply for teaching jobs in Abu Dhabi -- okay, whatever. Just put me on a plane and I'll do what you say. But just make sure we can take the dogs.
I miss everybody in Delaware, but I don't miss Delaware. I'm glad we're living in the West -- just not Phoenix. It's too big. I've had trouble staying awake on the freeway driving home from school -- more than a few times. This makes me really nervous. One day I realized that my eyes had actually closed when I was on the off-ramp.
I went to church and prayed for myself. I also told the woman in charge of the prayer chain what was going on with me -- I didn't think she was going to send it word-for-word to the entire prayer chain. Oh well, maybe it will help.
I think I'm scared. But I'm posting this because I'm hoping that someday soon I will be able to look at this and say, "Wow, that was creepy; glad it's over!" That's what I want.
Who is Malenka, Polish Princess of Peace?
Malenka, may avitar, my alter-ego, my imaginary self was born on a potato farm in Poland. Her hard days of digging potatoes as a youth only toughened her spirit and resolve -- and put a permanent glow on her rosy cheeks.
She wears her luscious golden hair in thick braids that cascade over her shoulders. Dressed in green silk shirts that set off her emerald eyes, black jeans and gleaming black riding boots, at 6 feet, Malenka turns heads wherever she goes. She has never had any issues with weight.
An amazing equestrian, Malenka travels everywhere on her sleek black Polish Arabian, Calligrapher's Inkwell (barn name, Calli). Trotting along beside them are her two faithful hounds, Liliput and Charleton.
Malenka spends most of days helping people. She can intuit their deepest desires and most pressing needs, always finding solutions that bring them peace.
Years ago she married her true love, the dashing Italian prince Paolo, a brilliant screenwriter/musician/tennis player. As a young man Prince Paolo, while hiking in the Apennines, discovered an enormous gold nugget, so the couple is set for life, never having to work for a living.
Prince Paolo and Princess Malenka live happily but simply in a crumbling villa in Tuscany. Because Prince Paolo is extremely handy with tools and they both love to do renovations, they're slowly turning their home into a stunning, yet environmentally sustainable, showplace.
Angora goats and alpaca roam the rolling hills of their estate; the couple pays local women extremely well to weave and knit their wool into warm, beautiful garments that the Prince and Princess donate to various charities.
They raise herbs and organic produce that Malenka loves to develop into fantastic healthy meals. She often invites the entire village to sumptuous feasts.
In her spare time, Malenka throws and glazes exquisite pottery, paints the ever-changing Tuscan landscape from her balcony, writes award-winning novels and an advice column for Salon.com.
She wears her luscious golden hair in thick braids that cascade over her shoulders. Dressed in green silk shirts that set off her emerald eyes, black jeans and gleaming black riding boots, at 6 feet, Malenka turns heads wherever she goes. She has never had any issues with weight.
An amazing equestrian, Malenka travels everywhere on her sleek black Polish Arabian, Calligrapher's Inkwell (barn name, Calli). Trotting along beside them are her two faithful hounds, Liliput and Charleton.
Malenka spends most of days helping people. She can intuit their deepest desires and most pressing needs, always finding solutions that bring them peace.
Years ago she married her true love, the dashing Italian prince Paolo, a brilliant screenwriter/musician/tennis player. As a young man Prince Paolo, while hiking in the Apennines, discovered an enormous gold nugget, so the couple is set for life, never having to work for a living.
Prince Paolo and Princess Malenka live happily but simply in a crumbling villa in Tuscany. Because Prince Paolo is extremely handy with tools and they both love to do renovations, they're slowly turning their home into a stunning, yet environmentally sustainable, showplace.
Angora goats and alpaca roam the rolling hills of their estate; the couple pays local women extremely well to weave and knit their wool into warm, beautiful garments that the Prince and Princess donate to various charities.
They raise herbs and organic produce that Malenka loves to develop into fantastic healthy meals. She often invites the entire village to sumptuous feasts.
In her spare time, Malenka throws and glazes exquisite pottery, paints the ever-changing Tuscan landscape from her balcony, writes award-winning novels and an advice column for Salon.com.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment